Time to take another break from flowers…seems these days are coming a little more often. It’s taken me a full week of emotional recovery and regrounding to come to a place where I can write a post about our Christmas trip. I’m warning you…it’s a touchy subject and I’m going to lay it out honestly. I’m anxious to know if I have even one kindred spirit in the amazing bunch of artists that read Botanical Brouhaha.

We took a two week vacation at Christmas this year…just the four of us…the first time we’ve ever taken two weeks. We had some amazing time together talking and laughing and enjoying time together without distractions. We spent the first week in Orlando at Universal Studios where the guys finally got to spend some time at “Harry Potter World”, as I call it. I must confess that I haven’t read a single HP book or seen a single movie. Consequently, I enjoyed Dr. Seuss Land much more….which left my guys shaking their heads!

So, here’s where the vacation took a beautiful, emotional, heart wrenching turn for me…and it always happens this way. The second week, we made our way to, what I consider, the perfect town…in the world…Rosemary Beach, Florida. The anticipation built as we drove and my heart got lighter and lighter as we approached Rosemary. When we finally drove into the little beach town, I wanted to burst into tears and shout, “I’m home, y’all!!” Instead I kept quiet and took in every sight, sound and smell.

Every time we go to RM Beach, the experience is the same. I spend the entire time torn between total elation and total frustration. No one in my family really gets the reaction…and, I have to confess that I don’t totally understand it myself. Do you have a place like this? A place that makes you feel so alive and so inspired, it hurts? I wake up early and roam the streets and the beach soaking up every ounce of the experience because I know it will soon be over and I’ll not return for months or years. I want to remember the feelings, the contemplation, the inspiration…I want to take it all home and live a passionate life. I want to feel these same raw emotions in my daily life…instead of marching through my days checking off a “to do” list and taking care of chores. At Rosemary, I think and DREAM about life.

I walked the beach every day…many times without another person around. I thought about my family and my dreams for my children and my friend who went to be with Jesus this fall…

I watched my family play…and thanked God they are healthy…

I saw Tracery’s fabulous holiday burlap curtains in person…instead of from afar via their blog like last year…

I went inside Tracery and met Kristina…so sweet and beautiful…

…and wandered through Tracery’s beautiful shop…

I spent the afternoons meandering through the streets of RM admiring the architecture and attention to detail…

I marveled at how good my ugly feet looked in the white sand…

I watched the sunset as each day slipped past…

And…I allowed myself to go to that dangerous place. The place where I tried desperately to figure out why some live in this heavenly place and I must return to my “real” life. The place where I questioned God’s plan for me. The place where I allowed myself to see an opportunity everywhere I looked for a way to move to RM…they don’t have a flower shop! Heck, I thought about how content I would be to sell hot dogs or work in the little bookstore or haul beach chairs for vacationing families just to live in this place…and feel this depth of inspiration each day.

In the end, I tried to capture the days on film and in my mind until I can return. And I prayed as we drove away…that God would reassure me that what I’m doing with my life is in His plan…and that it matters. And I thanked him for awakening my soul again.

Until me meet again, Rosemary…

Obviously, God knows just what I need…we returned home on New Year’s Eve to a house full of people…our three amazing college students and one of their families…and I KNEW (again) that this is where God has planted me for now. I am so blessed….and so human…